'My feelings are gone, maybe forever': What your doctor didn't tell you about anti-depressants

[Nutt] I only told my mother about my asexuality but … she made a point of saying, “maybe you should stop taking those antidepressants because they can result in zero sex drive.” Has anyone heard this?

[Philip027] Gotta love how some parents think, sure, let's have the kid suffer through depression, anything so that they can keep that precious sex drive.

      — recent conversation on the “asexuality.org” forum

After my talk, an Australian psychiatrist came up to me and told me about three of his patients, adolescents, who had been about to have relations for the first time, but in the end they didn't, because they weren't physically able to. All three had attempted suicide.

      — Dr. Peter Gotzsche, co-founder of the Cochrane Review

A is for abnormal

Almost 20 percent of Americans are currently or have recently been taking anti-depressant drugs for depression. Many more are taking SSRIs, the most prescribed class of anti-depressant drugs, for reasons other than depression, such as anxiety or an eating disorder. Among younger Americans, the number of anti-depressant prescriptions issued has risen by almost 70 percent in the last four years alone.

Also in the last four years, the “asexual” phenomenon has been gaining attention, publicized by organizations such as Stonewall, which exists to normalize all kinds of divergent ways of being. And yet, the asexual phenomenon is very different from many of the other letters in the alphabet soup, because it describes a person who is not different but rather “less.” 

Abnormal invariably means miserable

Stonewall describes people lacking this most basic human drive as a sub-sector of normal; for them, “asexual people hold a minority sexual orientation.” They have been labeled "Ace”:

Ace is an umbrella term used to describe a wider group of people who experience little, fluctuating, or no sexual attraction.

Stonewall does actually acknowledge some of the problems associated with being Ace, as they write in their 2023 “Ace in the UK” report:

The UK Government's landmark 2018 National LGBT+ Survey has enabled analysis of asexual people's experiences … asexual respondents had lower life satisfaction, more prevalent mental health needs, were less likely to be out to friends … and those who were out … had a poor experience…

How normalizing the abnormal covers up abuse

Stonewall's report was based on a survey that found that people who are Ace tend more often to be younger and female. Perhaps coincidentally, younger people and females are statistically more likely to be taking SSRIs. Also perhaps coincidentally, younger people and females are more likely to be the targets of sexual abuse. In fact, many of the stories featured by Stonewall and other “pro-Ace” organizations involve individuals who have suffered such abuse. But Stonewall, as well as many self-identifying asexuals, refuse to associate the two, insisting that their asexuality is an innate part of their being and should be respected as such.

It should also be noted that much of Stonewall's insistence that asexual people need to be “protected” derives from their very real victimization in a hypersexualized society where modest behavior is seen as a relic of a bygone era. No one, of course, asexual or otherwise, should be subjected to prying comments or unwanted advances. 

However, for reasons one can only conjecture, Stonewall and other similar organizations have chosen to deny any element of cause and effect and instead normalize the phenomenon, making the leap from how homosexuality was declassified as a mental illness to insisting that it is normal to lack one of the most basic human drives, as if a person who feels no hunger could be on the “food spectrum.”

This is a tragic development, as it prevents genuinely damaged people from understanding their predicament and finding ways out of it. And, just as Stonewall & Co. have ended up strange bedfellows with the pharmaceutical companies in the area of trans “medicine,” here too, they have fallen into line with the preferred narrative of Pharma — namely, that SSRIs are “safe and effective,” that they save lives, and that the considerable benefits justify the risks.

Decades of deceit

Relying on the mainstream media for information will usually bring a person to the same conclusion, unless they are scanning headlines carefully and noticed a single article in the New York Times from last year, or one in the left-leaning Guardian from earlier this year. Judging by these two articles, one gains the impression that doctors have only recently discovered that SSRIs could be problematic in this area.

In fact, it has been known since the 1970s that anti-depressants have a strong negative effect in all areas concerning intimacy. Prof. David Healy, a UK-based psychiatrist and the founder of the RxISK website, describes how, in the 1980s, doctors came under pressure to find alternatives to benzodiazepines (such as valium) and were encouraged to prescribe anti-depressants instead, which were supposedly non-addictive.

At the time, it was claimed, based on clinical trial reports, that less than five percent of those who took SSRIs (such as Prozac) experienced sexual dysfunction. However, pharmaceutical companies are not obligated to submit all their trial results to the FDA, only the cherry-picked studies that provide the data they were looking for. It later became known that, in some early studies, over 50 percent of healthy trial volunteers suffered “severe sexual dysfunction” and that some of these people never recovered full health, even after stopping the drug.

Over the years, more and more studies confirmed these disturbing findings, with researchers noting that the reported figures of dysfunction were almost certainly lower than the real numbers, because people are generally reticent and embarrassed to admit to experiencing such personal difficulties.

Informed consent?

From a perusal of many, or even most popular medical websites today, one would never know any of this. WebMD, for instance, lists possible side effects of SSRI drugs including rash, blurred vision, etc., and no mention of sexual problems. The only hint they give is in a single sentence where they suggest taking the drug once a day right before going to sleep, in the event that it causes problems.

There is certainly no indication that people who take SSRIs, even for just a few months, or perhaps just a few weeks, could be left with absolutely debilitating “side”-effects for the rest of their lives.

Gaslighting

The Times article does acknowledge this can happen, before the author launches on an extended gaslighting trip which includes calling involuntary asexuality a mere “hypothesis.” The Guardian is more frank about the extent of the issue, describing a 20-year-old nurse called Tilli who started out physically healthy (albeit with some anxiety and depression) who ended up numb, even years after withdrawing from the anti-depressant drug her doctor prescribed.

When I reached out for help with my local mental health service, I was sectioned and placed involuntarily into psychiatric care as the psychiatrist said I had ‘delusional disorder’, and tried to put me on antipsychotics. It shattered my trust in ever seeking help for my mental health again.

There are just 19 comments at the end of the Guardian article; comments were turned off only a day after the article was posted. Yet among those responses are tragic stories that should give anyone considering taking an anti-depressant a sustained pause for thought.

I took an antidepressant for depression. It caused ED and genital numbness so I wanted to stop taking it. I tapered off the drug slowly. During the taper, something strange happened. Literally overnight, I experienced profound emotional numbness - I could no longer feel excited or enjoy anything. I also suddenly became basically asexual and could feel nothing for my girlfriend, who I had been in love with. I also had brain fog, memory loss and other cognitive problems.
It did indeed feel like I had been lobotomised. 11 years later and no improvements.

‍

PSSD is absolutely devastating. I have spent many years being gaslighted by doctors. Many doctors have incorrectly confused PSSD with depression. There is a big difference. Genital numbness is not a symptom of depression. While I was depressed I still had a high libido and had sex regularly. PSSD feels like the connection between my brain and my genitals has been severed.

Stolen potential

Stonewall describes asexuals as born that way (or perhaps cycling through, for natural reasons of their own). They provide a forum for those who are numb to “celebrate” the way they are, and promote other websites that provide similar services.

Meanwhile, people like Vancouver counselor Yassie Pirani, quoted in the Times article, points out that people who were put on anti-depressants at a young age may have had their development thwarted before even knowing what it feels like to be normal:

People put on these drugs at a young age may just never know who they might otherwise be if they hadn't been on this drug.

She also notes that despite decades of reporting and research, most doctors still dismiss their patients' concerns when they seek advice in a panic at finding themselves fundamentally altered after taking a “safe and effective” medication.

“Things just didn't feel right…”

“Lucy” went to her doctor after years of suffering from social anxiety that was preventing her from forming a relationship. She found dating so stressful that she would sometimes flee during an evening out. She allowed herself to be persuaded by her GP to try an anti-depressant. After taking an SSRI, she felt liberated, able to date without pressure.

Soon after that, I met Dan (not his real name) online. I found him incredibly attractive, funny, and engaging. I thought he was perfect for me, and we transitioned from dating to a relationship with no panic attacks... 

As the weeks progressed, though, I started to realize things just didn’t feel right. While my doctor had warned me the medication would likely dampen my sex drive, it wasn’t just my lack of interest in sex that was an issue. The blasé emotional scale I’d initially welcomed dimmed any spark I felt for Dan. And the relationship started to feel the strain.

While Dan would constantly text me sweet notes throughout the day, something I’d normally be giddy over, I’d often forget to even look at my phone or think beyond texting the logistics of our dates. 

Lucy ended up splitting with Dan. Her case is far from being an outlier. Dr. Helen Fisher, quoted in the same article, describes the case of a husband and father who started taking SSRIs and whose feelings simply disappeared. He assumed at first that his love for his wife and children had somehow evaporated; it was only after ceasing the drugs that he realized what was happening.

Doctors in denial

The experiences of all these people, unwittingly rendered asexual, now have a name: Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction, or PSSD. Dr. Josef Witt-Doering, a former FDA medical officer, admits that the condition can be permanent and adds that the medical community is largely still in denial:

Once PSSD symptoms begin they can last for years and may even be permanent in some people … Despite the public recognition of this condition by major government health authorities, the condition is still under-recognized by the medical community.

The FDA has, for the most part, declined to require a boxed (once known as “black-box”) warning for SSRI drugs with regard to PSSD. The European equivalent of the FDA, however, has bowed to the pressure of doctors such as Dr. Healy and does now require patient inserts to include this information, albeit in a very abbreviated form.

Feelings wiped out, forever

Even where the information is given, doctors often fail to convey the utter devastation wrought by PSSD. In fact, the emotional blunting is often described by victims as worse than the physical manifestations.

I knew, intellectually, that I loved my wife, that she meant the world to me, that I'd do anything for her. But I didn't feel anything. All my feelings were gone. Maybe forever.

For Dr. Audrey Bahrick, a former psychologist, “forever” has been 27 years already:

I stayed fairly hopeful, all of that time. I thought being healthy and eating well could help me resolve PSSD but nothing did. I continued to hope for months, and then years. It has been 27 years.

Slain by Pharma

There is no treatment for PSSD. It strikes people without regard for their general state of health, age, or other factors. It drives people to suicide; Dr. Healy describes being approached by the Swiss euthanasia business Dignitas regarding people so shattered by the loss of their selves that they wanted to end it all.

“Yes, but what about depression?” one may ask. Should depression then go untreated for fear of the side-effects? Clearly not, but informed consent about the success rate of any drug under consideration (no better than placebo according to many studies) as well as its adverse events (which may lead to even more devastating depression) should, and according to the law must, be given.

There have always been people falling through the cracks of society. There have always been non-drug methods of extending a helping hand and setting people back on their feet. As Stonewall notes, asexual people — indeed, all people — need and deserve protection. The question is: From whom?

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