Globalists rewrite children’s literature classics with newspeak

Beloved children’s literature classics written by famed British author Roald Dahl will now be revised to reflect globalist newspeak. Dahl’s books include “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, “Matilda”, “James and the Giant Peach”, “The BFG”, and others.

The decision to censor the books was made by the Roald Dahl Story Co., which manages Dahl’s estate, copyrights and trademarks, and Dahl’s publisher, Puffin Books. The two companies are working with an organization called Inclusive Minds, which monitors children’s books for unapproved speech.

In “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, for instance, Augustus Gloop is no longer “fat” but “enormous”. Oompa-Loompas are no longer “small men,” they are “small people”. Similarly, the Cloud-Men in “James and the Giant Peach” are now “Cloud-People”. 

The following sentence was completely removed:

“Mike Teavee himself had no less than eighteen toy pistols of various sizes hanging from belts around his body, and every now and again he would leap up into the air and fire off half a dozen rounds from one or another of these weapons.”

The witty foxes in “Fantastic Mr. Fox” have been changed to female. In “Matilda”, a reference to renowned male author Rudyard Kipling has been removed, and a reference to famed female author Jane Austen has been added. “Eight nutty little idiots” have become “eight nutty little boys”.

The “fat little brown mouse” in “The Witches” is now a “little brown mouse”. The sentence, “‘Here’s your little boy,’ she said. ‘He needs to go on a diet’” has become, “Here’s your little boy.”

“We want to ensure Roald Dahl’s wonderful stories and characters continue to be enjoyed by all children today,” said a spokesperson for the Roald Dahl Story Company, according to The Telegraph. “When publishing new print runs of books written years ago, it’s not unusual to review the language used alongside updating other details including a book’s cover and page layout. Our guiding principle throughout has been to maintain the storylines, characters, and the irreverence and sharp-edged spirit of the original text. Any changes made have been small and carefully considered.”

A description in “Matilda” of Miss Trunchbull’s “great horsey face” has now just become her “face”. Where a character “turned white”, they now “turned pale”.

In “James and the Giant Peach,” Miss Spider’s head is no longer described as black, and neither are the two black tractors mentioned in the story. The Earthworm, instead of having “lovely pink skin”, now has “lovely smooth skin”.

In “The Twits,” Mrs. Twit is no longer “ugly and beastly” but “beastly,” and a “weird African language” is no longer weird.

In “The Witches,” the narrator asks, “‘But what about the rest of the world?’ I cried. ‘What about ‘America and France and Holland and Germany? And what about Norway?’” The sentence has now been censored to remove the names of the countries.

Puffin now includes a notice under the copyright in Dahl's classics:

Words matter. The wonderful words of Roald Dahl can transport you to different worlds and introduce you to the most marvellous characters. This book was written many years ago, and so we regularly review the language to ensure that it can continue to be enjoyed by all today.

“Roald Dahl was no angel but this is absurd censorship. Puffin Books and the Dahl estate should be ashamed,” commented author Salman Rushdie.

Even globalist UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak opposed the censorship.

"When it comes to our rich and varied literary heritage, the prime minister agrees with the BFG that you shouldn't gobblefunk around with words," said a spokesman for the prime minister Monday, using a word coined by Dahl.

The selective censorship of classic content is also used by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which censored films like “Minions: The Rise of Gru” and “Fight Club” to show the protagonists being caught by law enforcement.